3rd April 2014



Osborne best man’s hedge fund made £36m profit on Royal Mail


Good morning, sweetie-pie,

Thank goodness no-one seems to be kicking up much of a fuss about your Culture Secretary, Maria Miller being asked to pay back £5,800 in expenses after over-claiming for mortgage interest on her second home in which she used to house her parents. 

I say it’s a good thing that not such a hoo ha was made because many MPs use their second home allowance in this way even though originally the main purpose of the expense was to give MPs a base closer to Whitehall. Some might say that if they’re able to house parents, or friends or other family, it could be argued that these second homes constitute “spare rooms”. But then again, the “something for nothing” culture can’t be used to describe anything like free mortgage interest payments, tax loopholes  or profiting from the sale of public assets. No, it really is just for the poor people. I mean it’s not like they work even half as hard as your MPs.

It’s also a good thing because it would draw attention to the fact that both Mrs Miller’s parents are disabled and that might highlight the recent MPs report made that said the disabled are being hit disproportionately by the “bedroom tax”. About 60 – 70% of households affected contain a disabled person and this was not the purpose of the tax and has made them unintended targets. Well, there’s an easy solution. Get one of your offspring into Government and you’ll never have to pay a day’s rent ever again. Simples.

And my goodness, that Ed Milliband is a twunt, isn’t he? Calling you a dunce? And just because you sold Royal Mail for two thirds less than you could have. But “dunce”? That’s just not on.  Two thirds of the shares from the sale of Royal Mail went to your pals’ City firms who have made an absolute killing, including Giddy’s best man whose hedge fund made £36 million. A “dunce”? Really? You’ve made a lot of friends very, very rich and you’ve secured your own future on the Board of whatever company you wish once you’re out of politics. (Incidentally, it was a great comeback calling Milliband a “muppet”. Give Ed a mop of ginger hair and he’d be the spit of Beaker.) 

Enjoy the sunny day, my lovely man.


Katy Anchant


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