20th June 2013


20th June 2013

My favourite, tireless, upstanding Member,

Oh dear, American presidents really do have a way of putting a foot in it don’t they? Among other gaffes, Obama went and called George Osborne, Jeffrey, confusing his name with that of a 65-year old black singer. And he did it three times! It’s not hugely surprising to be honest. It’s not like George is the most memorable of characters, though he is a far more important figure than people really give him credit for. For instance, his austerity programme, originally intended to be short-lived, (the plan was intended to have growth back up to pre-recession levels by the end of this year) has been extended twice already. The leading think tanks are now predicting that the measures would have to last up to and well beyond 2020 to reach its original aims. One highly respected and Nobel-prize winning economist, Paul Krugman, has said the measures are based on “a delusional misreading of basic economics.” Also George’s Right to Buy scheme that is now artificially inflating house prices is causing another bubble which is setting things up for another crash, so by the time George manages to get us to a sustainable level again he may well be the age of Jeffrey.

But you and I know, of course that growing the economy isn’t necessarily the aim of austerity. Austerity is a far more effective tool in population control. It’s being used right now across Europe and North America to devastating effect, causing soaring suicide rates, rising HIV infections and even a malaria outbreak. Austerity is the default position of almost every major western government in times of recession, and not because it works economically, but because they know the cycle of growth will repeat anyway so they may as well make some money and lose some of the bottom feeders at the same time.

I also heard about what Obama said about you and Nick and I think it’s utterly outrageous. He called Nick Clegg the better looking half of the coalition! How preposterous. How dare he still call it a coalition?

Of course, the good looking thing is also obviously wrong, but I did warn you darling, about all those extra lunches. I’m afraid to say that perhaps more than a few people might agree with what the President said, though I wouldn’t worry. If that is the case, then it means that Nick is doing his job. Every leader needs someone pretty to look at and to do public events and televised radio broadcasts while they get on with the important stuff. Obama has Michelle – you have Nick.

I am sure those economists haven’t the first clue though. After all, they didn’t all get to go to Eton. I’m sure by 2020 the UK will be flying past the gate in the global race on the wings of George. I have faith.

Katy Anchant


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