5th May 2014
My darling man,
As much as I adore dear old Iain despite his silly temper and unfortunate face, I do think perhaps he should go sooner rather than later. You see, I just heard he’d lost the battle to keep reports on his Universal Credit thing secret saying it would have a “chilling” effect if they were revealed. I’m not entirely sure what he means by this. Some boring government report isn’t likely to have a “chilling effect” on me. I could think of a few things that would – Boris Johnson on a bike. Michael Gove…. Well, just Michael Gove. But I’m sure the Universal Credit reports will most likely not surprise me at all. Best guesses so far have put the cost at over £100,000 per existing claimant! He could’ve probably eliminated poverty in the UK with that. But that would put him out of a job.
Well now that report is all about to come out, it’s probably best that IDS isn’t around to try and defend himself, or his spitting denials are just going to spray all over you my love. If he’s going down, I’d rather he didn’t take you with him.
No, I really would rather not see you going down. At least not like that anyway.