29th January 2014


Good morning, you beautiful man,

I just wanted to write and let you know you still have my full support. You see, I was starting to get slightly worried that perhaps people thought I was being derogatory or sarcastic and I’d have to stop writing, just like those parody Twitter accounts that got shut down today, coincidentally at the same time the new gagging laws have come into force. No, darling, I am sincerely here for you because I understand you.

You’re prepared to do what it takes to help people, to make people feel useful again, to get them into the workplace with a spring in their step – like all those victims of the recession made redundant in their fifties, now on the Work Programme finding value in their lives again by making full use of their lifetime of knowledge and experience by helping to clean toilets in the hopes that they may one day be doubly rewarded by actually getting paid to do so.

You’re prepared to pay firms running the Work Programme vast sums of money for every person they manage to get into work and introduce measures that force the threatening of Job Centre staff with disciplinary action if they fail to sanction enough people on benefits. But I know it’s not for your figures you’re doing it for, it’s for the hardworking people of this country.

It can be highly frustrating when people just don’t understand how much better off they are. The figures show that unemployment is down, the deficit is coming down, household earnings are rising faster than inflation and the growth forecasts are doubling. So what if this is the slowest recession recovery in history and that, taking benefit cuts into account, incomes are down by around £1,600 per year on average, Britain is recovering.

And this is largely down to you, my love. You, and the dedicated servants of the DWP, like ATOS, (whose boss, on £44k a week, recently pointed out that people were generally satisfied with the service they provide despite the tens of thousands of deaths linked with their work capability assessments) who makes sure Britain lives within its means. After all, even though some would have us believe that it was the greed and the ineptitude of the world’s financial institutions that put us in this mess, it was really benefit fraudsters and Labour. You’ve been saying it for so long, it just must be true, darling.

Just yesterday, a dear friend of mine commented on how many more beggars and rough sleepers have appeared on our streets recently. It made her feel sad, but for me, it was more like nostalgia. Growing up in the Thatcher years and in its aftermath, I for one felt that the less fortunate and the destitute gave people a real sense of community and I, for one, am glad you are re-introducing this for a new generation. You are truly a remarkable man.

Take care of yourself, my lovely.

Katy Anchant


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