20th July 2013
Light of my life,
Whoops. Lynton Crosby. Again. This time it’s emerged that he has ties to shale gas, just as you’ve given them all a tax break. It makes me think of some Denzel Washington film, where the government are corrupt and he saves the day and ends up being the president. Thank goodness that doesn’t happen in real life. I’ve never been a Denzel fan, personally.
Incidentally, I was so inspired reading today about the report on the Olympics, which says that the UK has enjoyed a £9.9bn boost in trade and investment thanks to our hosting of the games last year. (When in fact, the games pulled in 100,000 foreign tourists as opposed to the 300,000 expected in a typical summer, London attractions saw visitor numbers drop by 35%, hotel bookings were down and various businesses said that the tourist season was the worst in half a century.) What I’m inspired by, though, is the fact that you wrote the report yourselves, and this inspired me to write my own report on Katy’s Household Economy. I’m pleased to report darling that last week 95% of the washing was completed, and dinner was served on 100% of evenings. Add to this the fact that an eBay sale saw household income boosted by £4.50, and it’s an incredibly positive report that shows what a fantastic job I’m doing.
As I wrote the report myself, I neglected to include the fact that 95% of the washing is still in baskets waiting to be folded and put away, dinners consisted of Pop Tarts, pizza or beans on toast, and I had a slight accident in Wilkinsons and spent £35 which I couldn’t really afford (I mean really. I am basically on a crash diet so that my kids can eat. I call it the Austerity Diet. Best diet EVER). However, the Wilkinsons accident has seen lawn growth increase by 38.5%, so all in all a worthwhile investment, and 78% of my neighbours think I look great.