2nd July 2013

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2013/jul/01/david-cameron-wants-to-be-harry-potter

My magic spell,

You’re such a good man, lending your noble self to those funny foreigners in Kazmanikstan or wherever you are right now. I’m so glad you took your hairdresser and director of photography with you while the Beeb tirelessly broadcast your efforts to connect with the little brown people – letting them know they’ll always have a friend in England. BP to name but one.

When that little girl asked you what Harry Potter character you would be, I thought you handled it very well. You very diplomatically said you knew what the “correct” answer was but added “I suspect people in Britain might want to paint me in a different role but I’ll let them do that…” Very crafty of you. Did you know that my daughter is of a very similar age to yours right now and they’re both right into reading the Harry Potter books? So I would guess you would be all too familiar with Voldermort. Of course, he’s the baddie of the books, but then again, the bad guy is always so much more interesting than the hero, isn’t he? In the case of Voldermort, I just know you relate.

Firstly, he’s known as “You-Know-Who” or “The-One-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named” and even though he’s not even there for a lot of the story, his presence and actions are always acutely felt. That’s SO you, darling. And secondly, his aim in life is to rid the world of “Muggles”. In the Potter universe, these are non-magic folk and the ones of non-pure blood. It’s not a far cry from your campaign against those useless eaters, the long-term sick and disabled. Non-pure blood, you see. The purging is happening right now. I bet you even practise your evil laugh. Ooh, you’re so deliciously wicked.

You know, I even think the Beeb were playing along with the analogy because right in the next paragraph they say “He often flies out of Britain on Sunday evenings.” Hee hee. I always did wonder how you got about so quickly. 

Katy Anchant

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