9th May 2013



9th May 2013

My little battered sausage,

I really don’t understand how your Cleggbot has managed to block your changes to childcare ratios. Did you know he could do that? He’s been completely invisible in the welfare reforms debate. He was complicit in stopping people being compensated for being wrongfully sanctioned by workfare. He’s been unable to implement any of his own ideas on immigration. He had absolutely no influence on the benefits cap. So how does he now suddenly have the power to stop your policies? Has he developed some kind of new superpower?

In fact, now that I mention it, in the debate yesterday, you kind of let slip that supernatural powers are indeed a feature of modern government by suggesting that the Queen is some sort of necromancer, able to make sweeping changes to the entire country by merely reciting a few sentences. You said “this is a Queen’s Speech that will make our country competitive once again. This is a Queen’s Speech that will cut our deficit, grow our economy, deliver a better future for our children and help us to win the global race…”

Of course, it would be ludicrous of me to suggest that you thought the Speech itself would deliver these changes but it did make me think that perhaps you thought the Queen would perhaps use something like the Force when delivering the speech to convince us – the weak minded – that these changes would actually occur. If only, eh? Doesn’t it bring to mind a vision of a ruling class like the Jedi Council? Albeit a tax-avoiding, closet racist, profit-motivated Jedi Council.

Hey, I’d look great in one of those gold bikinis.

Katy Anchant


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