7th May 2013

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-22424605

7th May 2013

Beautiful man,

Poor Nigel Evans.  What a terrible crime to be accused of.  Thank goodness our very own Andrew Mitchell has come to his defence and reminded us all that in this beautiful verdant land the accused are innocent until proven guilty.  Well, sort of.  It does apply in criminal cases, but not if you’re on the sick, where you are most definitely guilty until proven innocent.  It really is a good thing that our legal system isn’t run by Atos.  Can you just imagine the legal process to determine if a person is guilty of rape?

“Do you have a penis?”
“Yes.”
“Zero points.”
“Are you able to achieve an erection?”
“Yes.”
“Can you show me?”
“Umm, okay.”
“It’s a semi, but that’ll do.  Zero points.”
“Is your physical strength good?”
“Yes.”
“Zero points.”
“Can you stand unaided?”
“Yes.”
“Zero points.”
“Have you any violent sexual fantasies?”
“No.”
“Five points.  I’m sorry, but you haven’t scored the necessary 15 points to prove your innocence.”

Actually, wow, that would be the best crime deterrent ever.  If you were going to offer Atos contracts for extending their use into the criminal justice system (over and above the £3.1 billion that they’ve already been given in other government contracts), don’t contract them until after our Nige has been found innocent.

If that system were ever implemented and you should, God forbid, ever be accused of such things, I would be more than happy to offer my services as an assessor.  I’ve had 26 days training as a legal secretary so am more than qualified.

Katy Anchant

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s