22nd April 2013
My manly man,
Once again, darling, I am in awe at your omnipotence. I think it’s just so amazing how you can get just about anyone ANY job when you’re Prime Minister. (Well, apart from the 2.56 million lazy beggars – up by 70,000 since December – who clearly don’t WANT a job). For instance, take Michael Gove, Secretary of State for Education; no teaching qualifications, not even a background in teaching – in fact an MP’s speechwriter turned journalist – and he comes up with genius plans all the time on how best to educate the young minds of this country. Longer hours and shorter holidays he suggests, with a much stronger focus on the core subjects like mathematics – citing the example of the education systems of some East Asian countries; like North Korea for instance. Industrious places. Places that (even though ruled by someone who is quite clearly a psychopath) if you look carefully, does in fact embody many admirable qualities that I’m sure you and your party would love to see in this country – like the blind 100% loyalty of an entire nation; like a strong army with a high- grade nuclear deterrent; a country that only allows the bare minimum of human rights; a country that may hold a democratic election now and then but ultimately the ruling elite never really changes. It’s only logical that Michael would like to see a change in education that mirrors a country that, under the surface, exemplifies such fine principles.
What with Georgy Boy, also a speechwriter in his time – without an economics qualification under his already struggling belt – heading up our finances, and IBS with a background in the military and in CV-fraud heading up Work and Pensions, I wonder – now that relevant qualifications are no longer a requirement – if someone a little better looking would be more suitable than Michael Gove for Secretary of Education. Like Jimmy Nail.
Night night, my little chunky bean,