10th April 2013
My morning Rich Tea,
Isn’t it fantastic how the death of your lovely Margaret seems to be dividing the country again? That’s good because it’s given you a break for a little while.
It’s definitely a good idea refusing to give an estimate for the cost of her funeral, but the effect of that has been that the lefties have managed to find out: £8 million, half of which will have to be spent on security alone. I do suspect though, that half the crowd will only be there to catch a glimpse of your stunning profile. (But do keep a good lookout for flying walking sticks.)
It’s often overlooked how much her tireless efforts paved the way for everything you’re doing now. The things she brought about nobody would’ve thought possible before her reign. Who would’ve thought people would happily buy shares in formerly nationalised companies that they already owned, like BT and British Gas? Who would’ve thought people would happily give up vital social housing stock for the myth of becoming wealthy homeowners? Who would’ve thought that in the space of a few short years, a growing, industrious, productive, and skilled workforce would down their tools, their voice, their rights, to work for (if they could find employment at all) an import-led, profits-based, financial sector-dominated corpocracy?
You are able to do everything you’re doing now because of her, darling. The people have already succumbed to what they perceive to be the unchangeable reality of the system. The war was pretty much already won before you even learned how to put on an Eton tie. Now all that’s left for you to do is continue that legacy. Where she so successfully managed to turn the labour force against one another, you so expertly divide the country into shirkers and strivers, (yes, I know you never did coin that phrase but the philosophy is one you quite happily subscribe to) in order to continue the handing over of money of those at the bottom to those at the top.
It’s the natural way, my love. Some of us, like yourself, are just meant for greatness. Some of us, well, some of us are just here to eat food and watch telly. Ooh must go, Dallas is on.