25th March 2013
Keeper of my innermost sanctum,
Oh, poor Michael, having these beastly teachers pass a vote of no confidence in him. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – these damned education folk are leeches on society, doing nothing but whinge and complain when it’s obvious to at least 20% of the population that you are your chums are doing an exemplary job. I simply can’t see what they’re complaining about. I mean, obviously he has abjectly failed to improve education, but he knows that already. To claim that he treats teachers and pupils with no respect, though? WTF, Dave?!
I’ll tell you something right now. If these lazy teachers and feckless Proletariat pupils want respect, then they’d damn well better earn it by getting their heads down and doing some bloody work for a change. It’s not as if there are no jobs, no opportunities and no hope for these students. The possibilities for them to lead a barely-making-ends-meet, striving, tax-paying life working 9-5 in a job they hate are nigh on endless, and isn’t that what every good citizen should aspire to? I bet all of these teachers just want to sit around eating Hob Nobs all day and claiming for second homes on expenses or getting chubby on subsidised dinners. What they have to realise, though, is that only a small handful of people are worthy of such things, and as they are plebs, they simply aren’t.
As for the students who are going to school with no lunch money and no hope, there’s a simple solution to that. Just give them all the option to leave school at the age of 11. They can already read by then and would be absolutely fine working in Poundland for a £25 per week allowance (obviously they shouldn’t be eligible for £71 a week, since that would be ludicrous) so that they can buy their own damned lunch.
These plebs seem sent to try us to the very last, my darling, but at least you have me. I mean, I’m a pleb, too, but, you know, I’m not that much of a pleb. Only a tiny bit plebbish. Not like those other plebs. I hate plebs. Hate them.