23rd March 2013
My little snowflake,
Dave, I have something terribly important to talk to you about today, and that is the weather. I’ve noticed more and more recently that since you came into power the weather has just been, well, pretty crap. Darling, please, could you switch the sun back on?
The thing is, I’m absolutely sure that if you brought the sun back people would feel more cheerful. You would notice a sudden improvement in general population morale, and you would also get more votes if you made it absolutely clear that the sunshine was your doing. I’m sure you have the power. After all, the previous government managed to cause a global financial meltdown, didn’t they?
Sorry to hear that we might get another credit downgrade thingy by the way. Poor George must be feeling absolutely ghastly. Considering the disastrous path he’s been taking it’s a wonder the two Eds didn’t rugby tackle him as he held that briefcase in the air. But tell him not to worry, because when you switch the sun back on I’m sure he’ll be cheered greatly by all the women walking around in hot pants. I’ll be putting mine on, too.