20th March 2013
Is there no end to your omnipotence, my love?
I just read how you’ve overseen a change in legislation that ensures you weren’t breaking the law after all by making people work for free; just in case you start receiving a deluge of claims for other disgruntled workfarers. They call it “retrospective law-making” – passing a law that can make an already committed illegal act legal or vice versa. It’s utterly incredible. Is that even allowed? Well, of course it’s allowed. You’re Prime Minister, you can do whatever you like! I’d say it’s also a bit of a stroke of luck heading up the only country in the EU without a constitution; no-one can wave some all-powerful document in your face screaming foul play.
Imagine the possibilities, darling. If you could apply any new law retrospectively, you could make it illegal to disseminate anti-government material and have half the online authorship of The Guardian arrested immediately; you could make the term “bedroom tax” illegal and march down to the BBC and pick off the last of the anti-Tory stragglers; you could make the receipt of ANY kind of recompense for work experience illegal thereby turning the tables and getting the scroungers to pay any money they’d received BACK.
It’s almost as good as time travel. In fact, you’d be so good as The Doctor, darling. All you’d need is a scarf. That would really do it for me, actually. Ooh, ooh! Could I be your saucy sidekick?