15th March 2013


15th March 2013

My hero,

Darling, I’m afraid I have some bad news. The council whose support you need to get the royal charter that you’re trying to action for your new press regulation plan is presided over by none other than Nick Clegg. Rotten luck! You need his vote before you can do anything, and either he’s truly out of his cage now, or he’s been reprogrammed by Ed Millibrain.

What is the point, darling, of being Prime Minister, when (and pardon my French) you need approval from everyone else before you can get shit done? It’s just not on. Doesn’t being on top mean not having to answer to anyone else?

Well, at least you can take solace in the axing of another quango, the Administrative Justice and Tribunals Council that oversees the system in which members of the public can challenge government decisions. Who needs that? You’ve got more than enough opposition in Parliament let alone getting it from the plebs too.

I also hear Bobble-head Boris has been defending the bankers again. Well, of course he should. It could mean the average banker’s bonus falling by over 50%. Now, to a pleb, that might mean not much at all, merely the difference between eating bubble and squeak, or just eating squeak, but to a banker, that’s like the difference between getting the Bugatti Veyron or having to settle for the Pagani Zonda Cinque Roadster. Bleurgh! Can you think of anything worse?

Your little hotrod,

Katy Anchant


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