I’m always overjoyed when I turn on the news and am rewarded with your resplendent visage. It was very soon after the loss at Eastleigh so you were understandably cross. You’re so handsome when you’re mad. My joy did turn to concern slightly though, darling, when I heard you say you must show you can deliver for people “who work hard, who want to get on”, followed by how you continue to deliver for those “who work hard and who want to get on”, followed seconds later with how you will win these people back by delivering for the people “who want to work hard and who want to get on”. My darling, please tell me YOU don’t now use a replicant for your television appearances. I would so miss you if whenever I turned to you I was greeted by Max Headroom.
You know a survey was carried out last year in which 1 in 10 people thought you were an alien. Isn’t it hilarious? Though sometimes, my angel, you do make me believe that you’re simply not of this world.
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.