1st March 2013
My very reason for living,
Beastly Eastleigh! Losing to the Lib Dems and even beaten into third place by UKIP! Who’d have thought it? This is a party advocating such Tory-like tenets as eliminating regulations for the financial sector, more involvement of the private sector in the NHS, reducing tax for the rich, abolishing the Human Rights Act, massive scaling down of the benefits system, abolishment of all regulations restricting greenhouse gas emissions, and the list goes on, including many things I’m sure we’d all like but are too scared to say, like repealing the hunting ban, and getting us all smoking in public places again. Don’t lose heart, darling, because that proves that you are on the right course. It seems the people WANT the very things that you are advocating. It’s such a good job you’re so much better looking than that Farrage character though, who looks like an extra from the Simpsons.
Also, it seems that the constant fibbing has got you into trouble again, darling. In fact, a bunch of churches have got together a whole 30+ page report all about the misrepresentations and fabrications made by the government to create myths about the poor, like: they’re too lazy to work (6.1 million families in work still live in poverty), unemployed people like to stay on benefits, (the average length of time spent on Job Seeker’s Allowance is 13 weeks), some families contain three generations who have not worked (the DWP have admitted they’ve found no evidence of this), and.. well I could go on and on but don’t want to bore you – that was all just from the first few pages. It’s really a tiresome read. It’s a good job people would rather read the Sun or the Mail Online. Lots of pictures. All the superfluous words cut out. Anyway, what do community churches know about the poor?
Don’t let them get you down, darling. Get on the phone to your people and come up with something about how statistics show that poor people are more likely to commit tax evasion or human rights violations or something. Just a thought, my darling.