19th February 2013



19th February 2013

My favourite spin bowler!

Your pals at the Sun took some lovely pictures of you playing cricket with the slumdogs and apparently, they seem to think you have a reputation for “chillaxing”.  I thought it was incredibly serendipitous that you happened to be there while India are considering the purchase of billions of pounds’ worth of aircraft from the French. You’re a terrific salesman, darling, especially for UK fighter jets, as you’ve proved so well in the Middle East in the past, so I’m sure you can “bat” admirably for our side once again. 😉

Your pictures did make me smile after a rather fraught day. I’m having to help with another appeal for another one of my “disabled” friends who was found fit for work. My energy levels are fairly low right now due to a flair-up of my own disability but I do try to ignore that, as according to the “medical professionals” at Atos, ME isn’t really a disease at all. Well, I will do my best to defer to their better judgment as I do realise they’ve had a whole 26 days training whereas my own doctor would’ve undergone no such thing.

I know it’s all to reduce the burden on the tax-payer, and I know how much you worry about reducing the “deficit”, darling. It must seem like all you do these days is tell us and the EU and anyone who will listen that we need to stop spending, especially on welfare, which is the No 1 contributor to our economic woes, but I must say, sweetie, I think there might be a bit of a conspiracy against you. And I think I know who’s instigating it. It’s Google.

Just doing a quick search, I found articles by economists, journalists, professors, accountants, all about the “deficit”, and how, historically, it has been far worse, that welfare spending as a percentage of GDP is higher in many thriving economies, that austerity measures are considered counter-productive as they stunt economic growth, and the list goes on. I haven’t had the time nor energy to do too much reading and I know I don’t know a thing about economics, much like your friend George, bless him, but I do think that perhaps you might consider a research role for me as, with a few weeks training and a bit of Googling, between me and Giddy, I think we could get the economy moving again.

I do hope those cricket pictures don’t come back to haunt you if, God forbid, those lefties get what they want and you don’t make it back into No 10 at the next election. I can just imagine the “You’re Out!” headlines in the tabloids. But we shan’t think about that, darling.

Do hurry back, my little Bombay duck.

Katy Anchant


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