15th February 2013

15th February 2013

Button face!

I scoured through news articles today trying to find the headline “PM receives kinky card from secret Valentine” but to no avail – and thank goodness. I’m glad to still be your little secret. We wouldn’t want SamCam trying to find your secret drawer now would we?

No, all I could find in the news was this crazy story of a meteorite injuring 950 Russians. It did strike me (no pun intended) that it would be a brilliant way of getting rid of any dodgy folk who don’t vote the way they ought – for example, if you had your own meteor, you could blow Lewisham West & Penge off the map. It might even take a bit of Peckham with it if you’re lucky. Maybe get your R&D guys on it when they’ve finished tinkering with “Nick Clegg”? But then again, why would we wish for a meteor, darling, when we have Atos, doing it far more effectively and with far less fireworks.

Maybe when Giddy’s fracking project really gets going, you’ll be able to use the odd earthquake and landslip to bury a few Workfare dodgers. Talking of which, I saw a chap posted on FB yesterday that Workfarers should be placed in positions commensurate with their existing skills. I hope you don’t mind, my precious one, but I took him to task on this on your behalf because I could just imagine the chaos that the likes of that Reilly woman would cause in the fracking industry with their geology degrees. She’d be opposing this, that and everything else on the basis of her brand new “college knowledge” and that would never do. Besides, why does one need to study rocks in order to blow them up? That’s like saying Gideon needs a qualification in Economics to be Chancellor of the Exchequer? How preposterous.

Your secret KatyCam,

Katy Anchant

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