11th February 2013



11th February 2013

Sweet Dave,

I had a revelation today. I finally understand what Universal Credit is! You are an utter genius. I read on the internet that you’re voting today to cut benefits to households that contain jobseekers under 25. I remember you tried to do that last year by trying to get rid of their housing benefit, but that was seen as a bit mean, even by your pals at The Sun. Now finally, through Universal Credit, you could be getting your wish. By putting all benefits under just one payment, you can make cuts without having to name them! You can cut housing benefit, child tax credits, job-seekers allowance, bloody EVERYTHING, and you won’t even have to call it that! Oh why have people not written books about you? (Nice ones, I mean.)

With 1.2 million jobs in the public sector potentially being cut in the next four years, and with one in five men and one in six women under 34 now living at home, you stand to save millions. That is, of course, unless the extra financial burden of them being at home, with the added cut of benefits, means that they have to move out and apply for their own housing support, costing you substantially more, but I’m sure you’ve thought about that already. I have no doubt that you or IBS or Giddy can come up with another wickedly sharp scheme to slice another chunk from the something-for-nothing feckers. (Yes, I know it’s IDS, but I know Iain secretly revels at his ability to irritate the plebs, and who can blame him?)

As I said, I did only read about it on the internet so I can’t vouch for its accuracy, but I have every confidence it’s true. It does so sound like you, my little Love Hatchet.  You’re the best.  ❤

Katy Anchant




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