5th February 2013



5th February 2013

Dearly beloved,

Poor Richard III.  I keep seeing links suggesting that after his ordeal of being buried under a car park for hundreds of years he’s been found fit for work by Atos.  I’m having trouble figuring out whether it is satire or truth, as surely he could be incredibly useful at something.  And, you know, he spent years lying around all day in a public area, “supporting” parking ticket-dodgers and scrounging plebs pushing trolleys full of booze to their 4x4s.  Not a good example to set, now, is it?  I would suggest perhaps he is put to work trying to deter protesters.  He could wear a billboard sign thingie saying “I’m fit for work.  So are you.”

Do you know, apparently he once said that he would make an excellent king, much as you once, upon being asked why you wanted to be Prime Minister, said: “Because I think I’d be quite good at it.”  Except that in your case, darling, you were absolutely right.

Talking of people being found for fit work, I’ve had to deal with yet another pleb whinging about it.  Apparently she suffers from some invented disease or another, and the medication she takes for it has made her hugely overweight.  She was found fit for work and is now facing possible sanctions of her JSA for being such a fat cow.  The fact that she has had to let her live-in carer go is just proof of the fact that she is fit for work, I’d say she’d be excellent as a… umm… well, I don’t know, but I know there are millions of jobs out there, Dave, right?

Katy Anchant


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