From now on I will be including links to the articles that my letters are based on. Should have done it ages ago, but I’m not that organised. 🙂
2nd February 2013
See? I warned you about blatant fibbing. Just yesterday afternoon it was reported on the Beeb of all places that you’d been, umm, mixing up the data between debt and the deficit. Or perhaps you actually did just mix them up darling? It’s easily done, but allow me to explain. The debt is how much Britain owes, and the deficit is the difference between income and expenditure. So in simple terms, the debt is how much Britain owes, the deficit is the difference between how much you spend and how much you take in. Of course, there’s more to it than that, Dave, but I don’t want to cause your lovely smooth brow to furrow. Although highly necessary, Botox wouldn’t look good on your expenses claim form, and I am sure you struggle to fund it out of your salary alone.
Darling, I really do think it’s time you started paying me a salary. Not only would you have a pleb on board which would increase your popularity no end, but also you would be an equal opportunities employer since I am not only female but also “disabled”. Your ratings would go through the roof, and I’m convinced that I could win you back the votes of all of these freezing, starving Proles who refer to you as “Angry Satsuma”.
Incidentally, ignore the LGA’s recommendations about giving local authorities enhanced roles over job creation for the unemployed youth of today. I for one think it’s wonderful than 94,000 people trained last year for 18,000 new jobs in health and beauty. This just encourages a good level of competition in the industry, and will ultimately ensure that people up and down the country are healthier and more beautiful than ever before. It might even encourage a new generation of politicians who look more like you, Dave. That would be wonderful.