16th January 2013

16th January 2013

Bonjour Cherub,

I realise you’re busy right now thinking about what you’re going to say in your big EU speech, so I’ll make it quick. Everyone’s dying to know what you’re going to say by the way, because nobody seems to know – not even your “Nick Clegg” robot. Anyway, rest assured that I am on your side. While we love the whole free-to-trade and travel and study and stuff the EU gives us, the whole bit about us having to give workers a minimum number of rests, annual holidays and reasonable working hours is frankly quite tedious. I mean, if doctors and nurses didn’t occasionally have to work multiple shifts back to back, who the hell are we going to bring in to support our medical staff? Atos? Oh wait, no, they’re an IT company.

On the upside, as all the attention is on your speech, I think people may have briefly forgotten about how your mate George’s austerity measures to reverse our deficit have actually made it worse. (Not for you, Dave, of course). But really, woops – over a billion more than this time last year. Perhaps to make the figures look a bit better you can pile a few more categories of out-of-work people into the ‘employed’ statistics. (I mean, more than you have already.)  If you actually think about it, signing on involves: getting up early (one o’clock in the afternoon is early for these workshy plebs, believe me), travelling to an office, carrying out interviews and filling in forms. Is that not work? Better still, add them to the GDP! Who the Hell knows what that is anyway?

Sorry sweetie, I digress. You get back to being all Parliamentary and I’ll see you again tomorrow bright and early.  About 4pm, okay?  I’ll be wearing my French knickers.

Yawn,

Katy Anchant

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “16th January 2013

  1. Just wondering where all these poor people who have lost their jobs at Comet, will be losing their jobs at HMV and now Blockbuster are gonna end up? Certainly not going to aid Dave’s ’employed’ statistics!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s