11th January 2013

11th January 2013

11th January 2013

Darling!

I wholeheartedly and completely agree with the 69% of MPs who said in online lpsa interview that they were underpaid.  I cannot imagine how anybody could possibly live on £65,738 per annum.  Even my “disabled” friends get more money than that Dave, and as for the job seekers, well, we needn’t go into that Dave but suffice it to say that they are ungrateful beggars.

I’m so upset for you that the power to arrange your own salaries has been removed.  Not only is it desperately unfair, but also just wrong on so many levels.  You chaps work so damned hard on behalf of all of us plebs, and it’s not as if there are any perks to being an MP apart from a few meagre expenses and a very poor pension.  I am truly outraged on your behalf poppet, and I do hope there’s a workaround for this atrocity.  I will keep my fingers crossed that you and your chaps do manage to secure a 32% salary increase.  That way hopefully “Nick Clegg” will be able to afford to buy his own onesies instead of relying solely on those donated to him.

Talking of salary actually, you remember my pleb friend who I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, who had finally managed to find a job but hated it?  Well, her salary was £13,000, and although she had been hired to work in a clothing company overseeing orders and training to be a buyer, she actually ended up managing her boss’s impressive property portfolio instead (another noughties buy-to-let slumlord).  She was desperately unhappy, particularly when she was given the task of evicting someone from a damp flat because they were behind on rent a week before Christmas.

Anyway, he had started demanding that she stay much later than her contracted 9-5.30 role, and when she categorically stated that she really did need to leave at a reasonable time on most days as she has two children, he terminated her probationary trial.  No wonder he fired her lazy ass though as she is a perfect example of the lazy workshy masses who would rather sleep off a life on benefits than actually put the hours in.

She visited me yesterday to help me fold some washing since I have been too unwell to put it away for the last fortnight, and said that she is utterly petrified of going back to the Job Centre because of the way she is treated when she signs on.  Of course, she already has an 80in 3D television and a trust fund worth approximately £3.1m so she will scrape by, but that’s what I like to call “reverse benefit fraud”.

Actually, Dave, when she visited she brought some croissants with her.  I am enclosing the receipt and would be grateful if you could claim £1.99 on expenses so that I may reimburse her.  I would pay her back myself, but on my £70,000pa ill-gotten benefits I am frankly struggling to get by.

Thanks cupcake.

Katy Anchant

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s