3rd January 2012

3rd January 2012

Hey sweetcheeks,

Who came up with this genius idea of cutting the benefits of overweight or obese people who refuse exercise sessions?  As I’ve said to you before, Dave, there is absolutely no reason why these plebs can’t afford a healthy lifestyle.  I mean, lobster and avocado salad costs hardly any more than a McDonald’s, does it?  It’s yet another thing that goes to prove the overindulgent and excessive lifestyle of these claimants.  I bet they’re spending all of their benefits on lard and cannabis, when they should be spending it on… what was I thinking Dave – they shouldn’t get any money at all!

Has anyone suggested sanctioning the benefits of the underweight, too?  It would be a valuable lesson in budgeting for these idiots who are choosing to heat or eat and the mathematically challenged mothers who skip meals to feed their oiks.  I can see no good reason why with proper financial planning they couldn’t heat and eat.  With the average energy bills now at £500 per quarter, and job seekers on, what, £923 per quarter, that leaves a staggering £35.25 per week for healthy eating.  Do the maths, plebs!

By the way, what a shame about teacher morale being so low at the moment.  Apparently 77% of them think the impact that you’ve had on education has been negative!  (They are wrong, Dave.  I love you.) This is just yet another example of our educational professionals being left-wing scum.  Could you not make it mandatory for them to give extra-curricular education to the poor in budgeting and healthy eating?  That way they wouldn’t have time to do these silly surveys anyway, and those fat bastards (and hopefully skinny bastards) would learn a thing or two.

Call me brilliant, Dave.  You know it’s true.

Katy Anchant

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