29th December 2012
Gosh, there’s such a dashing photograph of you on the BBC News website, accompanying the article about your year in politics. Of course I was deeply upset to read again about how badly you’re doing in the polls, but don’t worry, Dave, because I think I’ve managed to convince at least two or three people how wonderful you are. If I, an established pleb, can see the wonderful work you are doing then everyone else ruddy well should too.
I must confess that I was incredibly surprised to see an article about Nick’s year in politics, though. I had become absolutely convinced that he had been replaced by a robot earlier in the year, and I still have my suspicions. Tell me, do you keep him in a cupboard most of the time? Does he get very dusty? I mean, he’s not really a real person, is he? Apparently “Nick Clegg” has said that it is the Liberal Democrat’s job to anchor the coalition in the centre ground. So a little like a paperweight, then?
Yes, a paperweight.