28th December 2012
Oh dear – bummer about the ICM/Guardian polls. It seems that people’s memories aren’t as short as we might have originally hoped, Dave, as apparently you’re not very popular any more. 😦 Don’t worry though, as there’s plenty of time before the next election to turn that around. I will continue to remind people about how handsome and lovely you are.
Incidentally, did you know that some people think my letters to you are sarcastic? I simply can’t understand it, as all of the figures and data prove beyond a doubt that you are the best Prime Minister ever, and British morale is at an all-time high (isn’t it?). Despite this fact, there are still a few plebs who are bemoaning losing their ill-gotten benefits. I simply can’t understand it. You, George and Iain have shown them the error of their workshy ways and given them ample opportunity to get back to work in Poundland, but it seems there’s just no pleasing some people. Even poor Iain’s advisors have warned him about the consequences of a benefits crackdown, but clearly these advisors are plebs in disguise. Fire them.
By the way, what a shame about the level of house building being so low, but it’s not as if we need more homes, is it? (No one can afford them anyway.) I blame the entire thing on Labour. In fact, I blame Labour for every bad thing that’s ever happened. What I think people are failing to realise, though, is that when the Bedroom Tax comes in many people will have to move to smaller homes, meaning that all of a sudden we will have a surplus of huge houses. Problem solved!
I see what you did there, Dave,