21st December 2012
Damn it Dave,
How bothersome! Some bumbling buffoon has started an e-petition on the government website to remove the subsidy from the House of Commons catering and bars. It’s on the direct.gov website as I type and the numbers seem to be going up despite the fact that when I found out about its existence I warned everyone what a huge mistake it would be to sign.
What people clearly don’t understand is the hardships MPs are facing on a daily basis. How can they expect any of you to continue doing the amazing job you’re doing showing the scrounging plebs and Proles the error of their ways if you don’t have a three-course meal in you? And some wine? It’s the very least that you deserve as there are no other perks to your Godforsaken jobs, are there? I mean, obviously you do get a few expenses and whatnot, but you’re hardly living the lifestyle of these benefit scrounging families who watch Jeremy Kyle all day and drive Mercedes.
Dave, can you not get one of your lackeys to delete the e-petition altogether? You know how many whinging starving impoverished families and freezing grannies would like to see your one last incentive to go to work stamped out (apart from the vital £200 all of the MPs get just for turning up, but I don’t think anyone ever, ever would claim that is unreasonable, ever, ever).
How’s the paté?