13th December 2012

13th December 2012

Hey Dave!

Gosh, one in four 11 year olds not meeting targets in English and Maths.  I’m appalled by this figure, Dave, but have to say it’s hardly surprising given how lazy and feckless these overpaid and underworked teachers are.  Good old Michael Gove, because he agrees with me that teachers who take industrial action by refusing to cover lunch breaks or do non-essential work should be punished for breaching their contracts.

I’d have to say though Dave that I’m not sure about punishment in the form of docking salaries, as everybody knows the vast fortunes that teachers earn, so it would barely impact on them anyway.  Plus, I requested the teachers’ expenses forms from the school that my own children attend and I’d have to say that it’s a little bit shocking.  Wine, home repairs, maids, elephant lamps, moat cleaning, Bourbon Creams, the list goes on and on.  I would suggest that they are punished by being lumbered with all of the one in four underachieving children the instant it becomes clear that they are destined to be Proles, artists or musicians.  They are doubtless the spawn of plebs anyway.

Alternatively, and I know that this is a little controversial, they could simply be fired and replaced with people in mandatory work schemes.  I’m convinced they’d do a better job than these whinging teachers anyway.  You could even get the scrounging mothers who complain about the cost of childcare to teach their own children’s classes.  You’d save a fortune, Dave, which you could use to buy me marble pillars for my duck house.

Until tomorrow, my beloved,

Katy Anchant


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