12th December 2012
Today is National Soundcheck Day – 121212, and I bet there’s a reverberating echo in the old Houses at the moment what with all the cuts. I imagine you’ve had to sell a lot of furniture on eBay to cover costs, especially of the Christmas decorations. Tell me, is the statue of Winston Churchill with his one shiny foot still instated in the Member’s Lobby? You know, the one that everyone rubs as they pass? If so I would like to offer you £30 for it as it would look wonderful in my drawing room. You could use the money to get a statue of yourself erected, Dave. I know that people would rub your foot in passing for millennia to come.
Also, Dave, talking about Christmas decorations I can’t see why you can’t just do away with this Freedom of Information thing. You know how discontented the plebs get when they hear about things like your £420k spend on exclusive subsidised wine (although I think most people have forgotten about that already – Mum’s the word!), and how much will be spent on decorating trees and other festivities in Parliament. However, I do have what I think may be my best suggestion yet. Wait for it. 🙂
I think it would be really fantastic, Dave, if you actually put up the budget for Parliamentary celebrations from £12,000 to around £50,000. This way you could offer work placements to a sizeable number of the Untermenschen, and the lights and feeling of joy would boost public morale no end. I myself would be more than happy to come and put a few lights around your office, Dave. I’ll even wear a Christmas negligée for you and George, so you can watch.