4th December 2012
Lovely, loving Dave,
Whoops! The economy has shrunk further. Is George very embarrassed? I know I would be, but tell him from me not to worry, Dave, because what with all the cuts he’s making it’s bound to be better next year. Maybe if you guys cut more public sector jobs, continue to slash housing benefit and close some more libraries things will start to pick up again. I’m sure Esther McVey’s plans to assess disabled people will help no end, too. I personally know loads of disabled people who have spontaneously got better, almost overnight. I’m sure it’s all in their head anyway, and the moment their benefits are taken away I am confident that they will find work with the companies who are queuing up, desperately seeking terminally ill or depressed employees.
By the way, a royal baby! How exciting! And what brilliant timing, too, to distract from George’s Autumn statement, benefit caps and bedroom taxes next year. I am quite confident that the papers won’t talk about much else but the impending bundle of joy for the next nine months, and let me tell you it will be a welcome relief from reading about all of these whinging paupers who keep bloody dying and blaming you for it. Gosh, you didn’t have anything to do with the planning of this baby, did you? Don’t tell me it’s actually yours, naughty boy!!
Oh, we do have such a laugh, don’t we Dave?