28th November 2012
LOL! Who are these silly people who are urging you not to regulate the press? Surely they, too, can see how much sense it would make? For example the recent news story about the £200 daily allowance that MPs are to be given. I simply cannot understand what all of the fuss is about, since even I spend at least £200 a day on lunch and stationery supplies. That’s just what it costs, right?
You know, Dave, I dream of a world where you have complete control of the press. I envision articles about how fantastically benefit reforms are going, and how hapless youths have been shown the error of their ways and are happily working towards a long and fruitful career in Poundland. I dream of daily stories about the struggles of MPs, and their kind deeds towards the sick and disabled. I dream of you, Dave, having a compulsory daily column in every UK paper. Something along the lines of “Dave’s thought for the day: Stiff upper lip, chaps, we’re all in this together,” or “Prime Minister’s Daily Recommendation: Don’t like it? Stop whinging and kill yourselves.”