20th November 2012

20th November 2012

Hi Dave,

Great minds clearly think alike!  Referring back to my letter of yesterday when I asked why access to MP expenses can’t be blocked, I am delighted to read today that so many MPs have been able to conceal details of rental claims for “security” reasons.  This is absolutely fantastic news for me, as I am compiling my own expenses at the moment.

The only thing I’m disappointed about is that claiming for mortgage interest is no longer permitted, as this would have saved me around £600 a month.  Never mind, though, as I think I have the solution.  What I suggest we do is that I rent out my home to one of your colleagues and move into a property that one of them owns instead.  That way my mortgage will be more than covered, and whoever rents it will be able to claim back the rental anyway.  This way one of your chums will have their mortgage paid when I claim the rent back, and everyone will be happy.  I agree it does seem a little incestuous and dishonest, but what do real people know, eh?

If I am to do this, though, then I will have to ask for some money for renovations.  Could you please send me the relevant expenses form to claim for the following:

New kitchen:                     £5,000

New bathroom:                  £5,000

Pond cleaning:                    £10 (It is a barrel pond so will be a bargain to clean out!)

Three Chunky Kit-Kats:   £1.50

In an act of altruism I will not be claiming for a chimney sweep since I have children.  Have a fantastic day, Dave.

In gratitude,

Katy Anchant

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One thought on “20th November 2012

  1. Kit-kats. Kit-Kats? What, you think this country is MADE of money to be throwing it at the Swiss? Find something made by Thorntons – OK, it will be far more expensive but at least the cash will stay in circulation within UK borders. We can’t have more QE just yet – people are starting to catch on to what it’s really being used for, you know……. 🙂

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