16th November 2012

Hi Dave,

I feel absolutely wretched and am so desperately sorry, but I didn’t vote in the PCC election due to poor health.  I was so full of remorse when I heard that despite your multi-million pound investment in the endeavour that voter turnout may possibly be the worst on record.  I suppose this is because many people can’t understand the correlation between party politics and policing the law, but that’s because they clearly don’t know what’s good for them.  At least you can be reassured that thanks to the police salary caps and recruitment freezes this small mishap is more than paid for already.

I am hoping that the successful Conservative commissioners will be cracking down hard on the jobless fraudsters and the disillusioned youth, since poverty and a lack of youth centres is simply not an excuse for loitering.  My only concern is that once the Universal Credit system is implemented there will be even more lazy yobs with no homes to go to, putting a lot more strain on our police forces.  My suggestion would be to draft them all over to Afghanistan for military training.  That way they will either be of great help in our efforts against the Taliban, or they will be killed.  It’s a win/win situation.

Yours apologetically,

Katy Anchant

PS.  Do you think that perhaps if voters had been given the option to vote for more police officers that they may have showed up?

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