10th November 2012
I hope you’re having a good weekend. I had all sorts of things that I wanted to write to you about today but I thought better of it – it’s been a tough week for you what with all of the paedophilia and public lack of confidence in you. The last thing you need is to be reminded how disliked you are by most of the population.
I did want to ask you however about where you get your Botox treatments. I regularly peruse images of you on news sites and pages about the government, and I can’t help but notice how fresh-faced you look nowadays despite all of that beastly pressure that poor people put you under. (Gosh, I do wish my husband were so handsome!) The thing is, that after years of struggling financially, particularly since we’ve all been in this together, I have lost dramatic amounts of weight and have developed quite a prominent worry line in the centre of my forehead. I don’t mind this per se, but am very concerned about projecting an overly-stern image to the homeless people that I have to step over regularly. Of course, you and I both know that they are part of the increasing number of Britons who want something for nothing, but it wouldn’t do for them to realise my disdain of them.
If you could forward me the contact details of your aesthetician so that I can rectify this problem I would be eternally grateful.